Deity

We are going to do something a little bit different this issue and talk about an aspect of a womans life instead of a deity

On Turning 50…

So I’ve passed that big milestone…the half a century mark…but I don’t feel old. I don’t know how the clock managed to tick all of those years away but it did and here I stand on the cusp of a new adventure…one that is all about me!!

As this milestone birthday had started to loom closer and closer, I’ve been exploring the next stage of my life…in traditional pagan lore that would be the crone. I am not quite done the mothering stage of my life yet with one still at home but I know that, at 18, he will soon fly the nest and become self sufficient just like his older brother & sister and I will need to create a life with just 2.

But the more I looked at the crone, the less I felt that I was ready for that transition. I am not a wise woman…in fact, I some times feel downright stupid!! I feel like I’ve just started down this path and that there is still so very much to learn. But what choice did I have? Hold onto motherhood as long as I can…like some mothers I have met who still have 20 and 30 something kids living at home? Or accept and struggle with the crone archetype until it starts to fit?

And then I “met” Mamma Donna Hennes, Urban Shaman. It was just an article in an old Witch’s Almanac that I hadn’t happened to read when the almanac was current. I’m not sure what drew me to that book and that page but I am thankful for that guidance!! She felt the same way as I did when she reached these “women-of-a-certain-age” years…not quite young, not yet old…and she realized that the triple goddess archetype that is widely used throughout pagandom doesn’t allow for the reality of those of us living in developed countries who are living longer than human beings have ever lived before!! For previous generations and even now in developing countries around the world, women were rushed through the maiden years for an extended period of maternity and, if they survived multiple childbirths and other hardships, moved into the crone years upon finishing menopause. By the age of 45 or 50, they were considered elderly…someone who lived to be 80 was considered ancient.

For us here in the developed world, 80 and healthy is not at all farfetched…I’m sure we can each think of someone that we know who has lived a long and healthy life beyond what would be expected only a generation or 2 ago. So for those of us in these middle years…the ones that have never existed before, where do we look in history for role models, for mentors? We need to look inside.

Mamma Donna calls this 3rd stage in life the “Queen” stage…other words that have come to mind for me have been Diva or Matron…but I think that Queen does work for this time of our lives. As her book “Queen of My Self” says…

“We occupy a truly unique position, poised on the brink of uncharted waters. This extended and vigorous midlife period which we are now beginning to experience is largely unaccounted for in myth and archetype for the simple reason that such longevity has never before occurred for the great masses of women as a whole. We desperately need a new body of role models, examples, and teachers to encourage us as we explore the unfamiliar terrain of our changing lives and create new and joyful ways of being in charge of our own destiny.”

It is not unprecedented to think of the fourfold goddess…Maiden, Mother, Queen, Crone…as the fourfold model appears in many places in the natural world…the four quarters of the moon, the four seasons, the four Solstices and Equinoxes, the four Elements, the four Cardinal directions, the four periods of the day. So the four stages of a woman’s life resonates deeply with contemporary women…these four periods of growth and transformation.

So what is a Queen and how does she differ from the Crone archetype? Mamma Donna writes:

“Finally completely self-realized, I was ready and able, and for the first time in my life, I was actually willing to reign; to accept the responsibility for the truth and complete consequences of my own dreams, decisions, and actions. I was a maturing monarch prepared to regulate all of the inner and outer realms of my own domain. By the time I reached 53 or so, I knew myself to be the uncontested mistress of my own fate. Miraculously, it seemed, I had succeeded in turning my midlife crisis into my diamond encrusted crowning achievement. Surely I was a Queen, and not a Crone. I was the Queen of My Self.”

Prior to finding this article and ultimately the book, I had been reading Christiane Northrup’s “The Wisdom of Menopause” and I learned that this next period of my life is about health, both mental and physical with these 2 elements leaning heavily on each other. Without mental and emotional health, the anxieties, emotional issues and suppressed emotions of a lifetime can take their toll physically. This is the time in a woman’s life when heart problems, cancer, high blood pressure and other physical issues start to appear and take their toll. This is also the time in our lives when many women shed excess baggage…like marriages that will not serve into midlife, friendships that are no longer nurturing, even family ties that are energy draining. We sometimes have to give up many of our comfortable ideas and relationships in order to maintain our health…in order to be reborn as a vital, energetic, powerful Queen…ready to continue to learn and grow so that when the time comes she is able to share her wisdom with the Queens coming up behind her!!

We embrace the Queen at the Waning Moon, in autumn and at dusk. The deity that has been resonating for me of late for this stage of life is Hera.

I have written this article from the point of few of a woman…because that the point of view I have. However, these same issues are also affecting men in our developed world…and the same health issues ensue for those who don’t find their purpose in life beyond father and husband…and it can be really difficult…women tend to have support from spiritual groups, from friends, from the network they have built through their lives. Men don’t tend to have this same support system into their midlife years…which is probably why men still tend to die younger than women. The King archetype…strong and wise but still able to lead his men in times of war…is a strong image for men to hold onto as well.

So I welcome these Queenly years alongside my King and hope that the changes that I’m even now making in my life will lend themselves to a long and healthy reign and a smooth transition to cronehood in the future.

http://www.thequeenofmyself.com/

Image of The Queen taken from http://www.datafurnace.net.au/crossstitchbyza/images/my-summer-queen.jpg

Submitted by blue Maple